So I'm still researching Bridget Dempsey and her 'Life and Times' will be available for you to read very soon.
In the meantime, whilst looking into her parent's marriage, I decided to take a look at the history of marriage, 'cause I thought it was interesting and I was trying to find out why they would have married in a Church of England when they were Catholic.
Anyway, in case anyone else is interested I've put together a bit of a timeline on this. It's all taken from the internet, and hopefully it is accurate (not wikipedia as it's not considered a trusted source of information), though there's probably a lot of relevant facts missing.
2350 BC - The first recorded evidence of a ‘marriage ceremony’ takes place more than 4,000 years ago in Mesopotamia (today this is Iraq/Kuwait/Turkey/Syria)
In the BC (before Christ) years, the main goal of marriage was to form alliances between tribes. Love and attraction did not come into it. If you were lucky this might have happened later. Marriage was purely for the purpose of child-rearing not pleasure, and it was acceptable for men to be unfaithful. To a certain extent, 2000 years later, not a lot has changed!
The introduction of the giving of an engagement ring dates back to the Romans; the roundness represented eternity, and it was thought that a vein ran from the ring finger of the left hand to the heart. If they were considering the heart, then they must have known love, but apparently during these times it was given as a celebration of a transaction and not as a token of love.
12th-13th Century - it wasn't until this time that the church started to get involved in marriage. For example, the church introduced the rule that you couldn’t marry in-laws or blood relatives for example. Presumably it had been acceptable before this date.
16th Century - when Henry VIII was on the throne, the laws changed a bit to suit the situation related to whom he wanted to marry; his brother’s wife for example. The Catholic Church would not allow divorce, so he abolished it; the Catholic faith was banned and everyone was forced to be protestant!
[Pic: Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon his first wife, and brother's widow]
Interesting fact - the marriage service, and the words of modern-day wedding vows (to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, from this day forward etc) have been spoken in marriage ceremonies since the 16th century.
Up to the 17th Century - arranged marriages to strengthen alliances between families were the norm, particularly for the higher classes. Quite often a bride would not meet her groom until the marriage had been arranged. Often the financial status of the bride or groom would be of greater importance to your parents, than the suitability of the match or the age of your intended; though it was more likely that a bride would be married off to an ageing groom than the other way around, due to the fact that an aging bride might be past her child-bearing years. If you were poor, and there was no property or money involved, it was different and there was far more freedom of choice. However, if the only pleasures in your life at that time were drink and sex, then on many occasion the marriage was arranged due to the fact the bride was 'with child'.
Throughout all this time, it was considered that once married, women were their husband’s possession; any money, title or land they brought to the marriage automatically became their husband’s property. It wasn’t until towards the end of the 19th century that this law changed and women were allowed to keep their own funds and inherit property. Before 1882 women were not allowed to inherit property!
1753 - it became law that you had to be 16 to get married; before this date you could get married at any age. You also had to have your parent’s consent if you were under 21. Also, if a marriage took place outside the Church of England it was considered invalid, no matter your faith. The age restriction did not apply in Scotland however, hence Gretna Green. This law remained in place until 1987.
Although divorce was possible from the mid-17th century, it was difficult and you had to be rich. Divorces had to be granted by parliament and this was impossible if you were poor. The poor would either abandon their unwanted wife, or get rid of them by selling them to the highest bidder at the local market! I can't imagine this was common practice but it did actually happen.
1836 - although the Catholic faith had been allowed again since 1791, it was not until 1836 that non-conformists and Catholics could be married in their own places of worship again.
1857 - all men were now allowed to divorce their wives should they have been unfaithful; wives could not divorce their husbands had they committed the same crime because the act of men committing adultery was still acceptable.
1969 - both women and men could state ‘breakdown of relationship’ as an acceptable reason for a divorce and did not have to mention the specifics, or point a finger of blame.
1987 - it became law that a person could marry without parental consent from the age of 18 instead of 21.
Nowadays, in England, it is the law that we can choose whom we marry and if we are aged over 18 we can marry without a parent's consent. However, we know that there are still forced marriages that take place as an acceptable part of a religious faith, even though it is illegal. Also, if you are born into a family with certain connections (perhaps to royalty for example) there may an element of expectation that pressures your choice of marriage partner. However, legally the choice always remains with the individual, and any family consequence of that choice just has to be dealt with.
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